“we are closer to God when we are asking questions than when we think we have the answers”
Well, for me, it worked the other way round !
As a teen, some 60 years ago, I lived in Central Africa. I was on my way to become a good Christian…
One day, the priest mentioned the cannibals, living north, near the forest. He described them in an horrifying manner: wild semi-humans eating human flesh.
Several months later, I was allowed to go hunting with my father, with a translator. All three in a jeep,for over a week.
After a long journey through the forest, we stopped in the village.That was north of the forest…
Within the village was a group of wise men. Among the wise men was a old gentleman who spoke some kind of french: he survived the 1st WW in the french army. One evening, I sat near him, and, after some hesitations, I asked him about cannibalism.
He spoke during a long while, with references to many people of the tribe, deads & alive ones, and many digressions. Here is my synthesis :
First, one must know how the World works: a long time ago, God came and created eveything on earth. He then retired in a remote mountain, where He still stays.
Each human is provided with a ‘’spirit’’. After death, when the flesh is rotten, the ‘’spirit’’ gets out of the flesh, and drifts with the winds. It will never come back to the village, the only place on earth where it is ‘’at home’’. This situation is frightening, as the ‘’spirit’’ get lost, and will never see the loved ones.
But there is a ritual which can keep the spirit within the village: a fraction of a muscle can be cut in small pieces (size of a match), passed through the village fire, and everyone in the village will eat a piece.
This ritual is not neutral, as it is certain that, by doing so, each participant will acquire a fraction of the dead person’s qualities AND defects or wrong habits. Therefore, each participant is convinced that he/she will take on board unknow risks, in order that the ‘’spirit’’ will stay within the village.
Leaving someone to rot without the ritual would be extremely cruel. So cruel that even the ‘’spirit’’ of an ennemy will not be abandonned to the winds. He will remain an ennemy, but will be kept within the village. The people from where he came will be made aware that he has not be abandoned.
I remember that I had tears in the eyes while the gentleman was explaining this to me: this ritual was so generous !
From this point on, I did not trust blindly the ‘’stories’’ which I used to be ‘’fed’’ with.
Back in Europe, I realized that these ‘’savages’’, lost in the middle of nowhere, were far more respectable than my new neighbours, with their arrogant sense of superiority.
I also progressively lost faith. It came slowly from within. Still, I find that priests and their teachings are useful. I married at church as an Atheist: the counterpart was that the children will receive a Christian education, which we did. Still today, my wife is convinced that I am not really atheist, and that I just pretend to be. I think she need to be reassured. I am not going to harm her. But it will not make me a believer…
I went more into studying the Old Book, ancient History, archeology, … in order to get answers to many questions… and I think I now better understand a fraction of the successive syncretisms which delivered what we have in hands/ minds.
